Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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