You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Terrible idea I love it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
