sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
