are you still at the devil's house?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
