There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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