I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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