the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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