I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
