Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize