At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
