Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i came on her dog
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
