i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
