Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
