So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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