John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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