I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
