Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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