i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
