so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
