Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
