Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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