He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
