i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
