i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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