When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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