he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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