got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
