you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
