Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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