Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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