Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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