turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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