I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
