We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
