I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
