Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
time to smoke my breakfast
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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