how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize