I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
