Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
