Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
