can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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