this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
