Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
