How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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