considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize