Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
