You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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