Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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