True but thats because hes a fetus.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
