VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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