did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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