All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
