Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
