I faked an abortion last night.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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