Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
