you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
