I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Terrible idea I love it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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