my mouth tastes like poor choices
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
